Devil's Tango (Running with the Devil Book 1) Page 3
Sure, it’d been a secret hope. One that he’d never mentioned, yet every damn member of his team was fucking aware of because he’d been a complete bitch to deal with after the papers had been signed. Enough so that he’d been shipped out on solo mission after solo mission to work out his anger and frustration on extreme enemies of the state which just solidified his spot as a rising star in the intelligence asset community and dug him deeper into the life he’d never be able to shake.
So yeah, her claiming to be a failure was… “Fucking bull shit.”
Maddie’s head snapped around to glare at him. “Excuse me?”
He glanced up in the rearview mirror. Fox and Dell were right behind him in the van. Patiently waiting for him to take the right turn that’d lead them down the country road to the temporary safe house. Temporary? Hell, who was he kidding? They’d been renting that same place for the past five years. All because he couldn’t stand the thought of being too far away from his Maddie. The light to his dark. The anchor to his crazy. The one person in this fucked up life of his who kept him grounded, sane, and on the path to be a better person. No matter how many heinous deeds he had to execute all in the name of the greater good, he needed her.
Tango took the turn harder than he needed to. “You are not a failure.”
She had the phone open in her lap and was scrolling through contacts. “Thanks for clearing that up for me. Don’t know how I ever managed without you.”
He frowned. The last thing he needed was for her to make a call that would lead more bad guys to them. “Who are you calling this time?”
She pressed a button and held the phone to her ear. “My father.” A pause and then she spoke into the phone. “Tag. You’re it.” Then she disconnected and started scrolling for another contact. “Stop giving me that look.”
“What? I didn’t say anything.”
“You haven’t changed a bit, have you,” she demanded. “He’s my father, Van. No matter how much you can’t stand him, he is the reason I’m on this planet and the least I can do, as a dutiful daughter, is give the man a heads up that Christmas will be light this year because my house just freaking exploded.”
Yeah, he had his opinions on her father. None good. Maddie didn’t know half the shit Colby Jack had pulled and if he had his way, she’d never know. Not because she didn’t deserve to know the truth, but that she didn’t need to know the man was a lying, two faced bitch who’d sell out his own flesh and blood before he owned up to his mistakes. But now wasn’t the time to get into it with her over that. Not when what he needed to do was play target to her angst and roll with it. “When did you last hear from Colby Jack?”
“About a month ago.”
“What did he want?”
She heaved a frustrated sigh. “Nothing you need to know about.”
“Babe, you and I both know Colby Jack never calls unless he wants something. So tell me what he wanted. Now.”
“I will not,” she fired back. “We’re not married anymore. Remember?”
She was gonna drive him to drinking. Heavily. But not before he got it through her angry, mad as hell brain that they were not over. “Madeline,” he started in as even a tone as he could manage through clenched teeth. “The divorce was a tactic. A strategy to make the fuckers after me think we were done. It worked. You were safe. Until tonight. And so fucking help me God, if you don’t tell me what Colby Jack wanted that could have put you in the line of fire, I will pull this car over and spank your pretty little ass until you give me what I want. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?”
Another huff and another bushel full of dagger glares slammed into his person. “I hate it when you use that tone.”
He grunted. “Right back atcha, babe.”
She folded her arms over her chest and stared out the window. “You know what he wanted. What he always wants.”
Tango relaxed. Somewhat. Colby Jack wanted money. He always wanted money. “How much?”
She hesitated, then admitted in a soft voice. “Few thousand.”
“How many few thousands?”
A long pause and he could practically feel her reluctance to admit it. “Does it matter?”
“Hell yes, it matters when a group of untrained, sloppy as hell mercs show up on our front porch ready to shoot first and ask questions later.”
“No, Van, it doesn’t matter, because I didn’t give him the hundred thousand he asked for.” Another huff. “Zed talked me out of it.”
Hundred thousand? Thank fuck for her oldest brother, Zed. “Get Zed on the phone.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s protocol and he knows something.”
She did as he asked. After a few seconds, she looked at him. “It’s going to voicemail.”
“Follow protocol, leave the message then try Nev.”
“I don’t like this.”
And like that his Maddie was back. She sounded scared and insecure. In need of a protector. Finally something he knew how to do for her. Tango laid a hand on her thigh and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “I know, baby, but it needs to happen. We’re almost at the house.”
She cleared her throat and left the same message for Zed that she had for her father. “Tag. You’re it.”
Her hands shook as she disconnected, then looked for another number.
Same thing happened when she tried for Nev.
Both her older brothers were unavailable. Not surprising given they both were special ops who’d been vetted and pushed by Colby Jack to get sucked into the black ops circuit. Didn’t make him feel any better, but it was what it was.
“Do you really think what happened at the house could be because of my father?”
She sounded lost and scared and it fucking tore at his heart. But again, this Maddie he could handle. Angry at the world and taking it out on herself Maddie—that one he couldn’t handle. Ever. “I don’t know, baby. It could be. Anything is possible considering our line of work. How long has it been since they were home?”
She gave a small sniffle and rubbed her nose. “Nev drops a postcard each week, but hasn't been back in a few months. Zed was in town last month to do laundry and talk me out of liquidating assets.” Another sniffle and her voice wobbled. “Kenny is in college. He drops by every once in a while. Graduate school sucks up a lot of his time so I… see him when he has time.”
That was news to him. Last thing he’d expected to hear was how little her brothers stopped by to check on her. That wasn’t the way it should have been. Wasn’t the way he’d ordered her brothers to handle things. And it made him see red. “Get Ken on the phone. Put it on speaker.”
She did and three rings later music blasted through the phone. “Kenny!”
“Maddie,” her brother drawled with a laid back I'm-in-college-and-drinking-on-a-school-night voice. “What's up?”
Tango didn't wait. “Where are you?”
There was a crash in the background that sounded suspiciously like a pyramid of empty beer cans toppling to the floor. “Holy shit. Tango? Is that you?”
“Tango,” Maddie muttered. “Who the hell is Tango?”
Tango opted not to answer her. Last thing he needed was for her to launch into another tailspin. “Get your gear and head to the usual spot. Whiskey will find you.”
“Yeah, okay, what’s going on? Is Maddie okay?”
A muscle ticked under his eye. “She is alive because my team and I bailed on a mission and were there to protect her. When her brother was not.”
“Shiiiiiiit,” Ken breathed. “I can explain.”
“You bet your ass you will explain why my wife was home alone on a Tuesday night when a team of mercs stormed our house and tried to fucking kill her,” Tango growled. “What did I tell you about leaving her alone?”
“Son of… shit. I didn’t… shit, Tango, I’m sorry. She okay? Please tell me she’s okay. Zed’s gonna kill me if anything happens to her.”
“Zed is the least of your worries,” Tango grumbled.
“Save it,” Tango barked. “Get your gear and roll out now.”
“Yes, sir. I’m going. Now.”
“Good and Ken?”
“Yeah,” Ken asked.
“Full protocol,” Tango ordered. “No drill. And your ass better be sober when I see you.”
“Roger that,” Ken said. “K-dog out.” The line went dead.
Maddie was shocked-stupid. K-dog? Tango? Really? Seriously? Van and her younger brother were... close? And she didn't know.
She continued to fume silently while Van—oh wait, it's Tango, now—issued orders over a secure channel to his team. His team who were named after the military phonetic alphabet. Why did that not surprise her?
“Fox, coordinate K-dog pickup for Whiskey and Bravo. You and Dell setup the perimeter at Charlie’s before we get there. Yeah, good. Five minutes out. Copy that. Tango out.”
Van-Tango glanced at her once he was finished. “Ken will be okay. He's done this before.”
“Obviously.” She couldn't stop staring at him. It was like she was seeing the real him for the first time. “Tell me, Tango, is there anyone else in my family you kept in touch with? Or was I the only one you completely cut ties with?”
“I can explain.”
“I'm sure you can,” she said.
“It wasn't—” He started. “I didn't—” Then stopped again. “Shit. They found me.”
“They being...?”
“Your brothers. They... found me and...”
“And...?” She prodded.
“Kicked my ass,” he reluctantly admitted
“Did it hurt?”
“Like a motherfucker.”
“Good. I assume it was three against one and not—”
“They took turns.”
“Naturally. I'm guessing once they'd kicked your ass to the point of redemption, you then made up and bonded over cookies and ice cream.”
“More like Ken watched Zed and Nev beat the truth out of me.”
“Lucky them,” Maddie muttered with sarcasm. “Remind me to send them a thank you card for keeping me completely sheltered and in the dark.”
“You're mad.”
“Noooo,” she drawled. “Why would I be mad? It's not like I was anyone important to you. Or them.”
He slowed the car and turned down a driveway. “That's not true and you know it.”
“Whatever you say.”
He pressed a button on his phone and the garage doors opened. He executed a three point turn, then backed the car into the garage. “You weren’t told because we agreed it was safer for you not to know.”
“Bullshit.”
The car stopped and he killed the engine, then grabbed her wrist and stopped her before she could open the door and get out. “Look around, babe. Does this look like I live a safe life? Does this look like a place I'd feel comfortable leaving my woman home, alone, and undefended almost every fucking day of the year,” he practically growled at her. “I walked out and cut myself out of your life to protect you from the shit I'm so deep in I can't fucking get out.”
“Look around, Van. I'm not safe with or without you, so you don’t get to use that as an excuse for ripping my heart out and shitting on me until I'd rather fucking die than take another breath!”
Hearing Maddie yell at him like that was a shock. She hardly ever raised her voice and yelled. She was calm, rational, and a sexy ball of logic most days. But it was enough of a shock that he’d let her go and, before he could muster a response, she was out of the car with their dog and into the house.
In his ear he heard Whiskey say, “Told you she wouldn't understand.”
“Go to hell,” Tango muttered.
“Can’t. Your dumbass is blocking the way,” Whiskey said. “Tell her everything and clean up your mess. Bravo and I are wheels up for K-dog extraction. Expect us in two shakes of a monkey's dick. Whiskey out.”
Two hours. He had two hours to perform a fucking miracle.
CHAPTER FOUR
Inside the house. Maddie found herself in the kitchen and tried in vain to stop the tears from falling. She started to go for the cabinets to get a water bowl ready for Lily, but stopped. There was a water bowl already laid out. And a food bowl. Filled with Lily’s favorite dog food. And durned if the dog didn’t go right to it.
Of course it was already there. Van had been in everyone’s life but hers.
The tears started to fall. Streaming down her face and she couldn’t help the sobs that suddenly wracked her body. It hurt. Hurt so much. It wrapped around her heart and yanked her further down the rabbit hole and there was nothing she could do to stop it. No distraction. No amount of mental math calculations she could distract herself with to stop the overwhelming sense of abandonment and pain and loneliness that’d she struggled with on a daily basis. How could she have been so stupid? She was such a failure. At life. At being a female. And now family.
Maddie wrapped her arms around her midriff and sank to the floor. The sobs wouldn’t stop and she curled in on herself until her head rested on her knees and her body shook with sobs.
She didn’t hear the door open or Van’s soft curse word.
But she felt him kneel down beside her. “Baby.”
His voice was soft and she could have ignored it, but then he touched her back and something inside her snapped.
She swatted at him and missed. “Don’t touch me!”
It didn’t deter him. As if it would. Nothing made him stop once he had his mind set on something and he gathered her into his arms, pressing her face into his chest.
She smacked his chest with the flat of her hand. “I hate you.”
Still he remained silent as he held her and comforted her. He smoothed a hand down her hair, her back, and just held her while she sobbed her heart out.
For the first time in forever, since he’d left her, she felt safe. Warm. Whole, yet broken from the inside out. Nothing was as it should have been. Her world was spinning out of control and every instinct in her body screamed for her to burrow closer to him even though her mind screamed this was a bad idea. That it would end with her more destroyed than when he’d left her the first time.
Van cupped her cheek and forced her to look up at him. She shook her head, but it did no good. He was determined to see her face and used his thumb to gently wipe the tears from her cheek.
“Don’t,” she cried in a hoarse whisper. “Please don’t do this to me.”
He shushed her softly, then pressed soft kisses to her forehead then her eyes. Her cheek. Her jaw. It was slow and unrushed as he held her and tried to stroke her pain away.
Maddie pulled back and looked at him. The words died on her tongue as she drowned in his green eyes. They were bright and filled with a pain that mirrored her own. So many unspoken words lay between them. Years of emptiness and loneliness. It wasn’t fair. She still loved him and had missed him so much that every fiber of her body and soul ached.
He seemed to understand everything she was going through because he pressed his forehead to hers and staring into her eyes said, “Never wanted to leave you, baby. Had to for your safety. I couldn’t—can’t lose you. You are everything to me.”
His words were shredding her from the inside out. “Not everything. Not enough to stay.”
His eyes flared with pain as if she’d struck him hard. “All I wanted was to stay.” His touch was gentle as he brushed aside her tears. “But couldn’t. Not and keep you safe.”
“Safe from what,” she demanded in a harsh whisper. “You left me alone!”
His voice was even, calm, and full of guilt and pain and everything reflected in his gaze. “No, baby, you were never alone. I had people watching you. Always.” He closed his eyes and shook his head, then opened them and the intensity his green gaze rattled her soul. ”But I had to go. Because I fucked up and trusted the wrong person. My job, me, everything that I am put you
in danger. Put a target on your back. You didn’t fail. I did. Not you. Me. I failed to protect you.”
“From what,” she demanded.
“From my job. From enemies that would stop at nothing to use you to take down the organization I work for. I told you when we first got together this could happen.”
Try as she might, she couldn’t call him a liar. He had told her his job was dangerous. That being with him would mean more days alone than together because he had a job to do. A nation to protect. A calling. That he’d signed his soul over to the devil at a young age to make sure she could sleep in peace at night. “Stop being so damn logical! You hurt me! You left!”
He slammed a fist over his heart. “And it fucking killed me. Here. But I had to do it.”
Tears, fresh new ones sprung to her eyes and her bottom lip trembled. “You could have told me. I would have understood.”
“And demanded to come with me.”
She shook her head. “Not if you’d explained it to me.”
“I couldn’t. Baby, you gotta believe me. I could not tell you.”
“Yes, you could have,” she cried. “I always understood your job. I never hated it. I knew you had to go, but… you always came back. Until you didn’t. And I didn’t know why. I needed to know why, Van.”
There it was out. Her weakness. Her shame. Her inability to be a strong person. Her inability to handle loving a soldier.
“Baby, you’ve always known why.” He cupped her by the jaw and drew their foreheads together. “To protect you. Told you every night we were together that the only reason I wouldn’t be back was if it’d pose a danger to you. No other reason. It was and always was to keep you safe. No other reason.”